I'm so sorry for your loss, Quinn. I just lost my dad two days after Christmas, and your story resonates with me. They were the same age. I don't have the best relationship with my mom, either, and didn't spend much time with them as an adult. But in times of crisis, I was there. My dad was on dialysis the last three years of his life, but his death was sudden and unexpected. The last time I talked to him was early December. When I made it to the hospital to keep my mom company, he was already unresponsive. I watched his heart rate slow to flatline the next morning. Loss is always difficult, but especially of the parent who guarded you more. (((hugs)))